DORIS DILEMMA: A Battle Between Christian Faith, Religious Belief and Culture

By Sep 14, 2022

Doris (not her real name) is a fervent born-again Christian woman that lives in one of the cities in a western region of Africa. She serves the Lord with uncommon zeal and passion and loves the Lord with all her heart. She is a 36-year-old married woman with three kids. She is blessed with two handsome boys and a beautiful girl. All has been going well with her and the husband as they enjoyed the uncommon grace of God in their family. The family is blessed with a decent home in a choice area of the central capital city of the nation. They were the example of a good and blessed family as they did not lack anything as they provided for their homes. Their children attend the best school in the nation's capital city and are all doing well in their academics. The family could be best described as an epitome of love, blessing, grace, and prosperity, as one could witness this in the family.

Doris left her supermarket to attend a get-together and prize-winning party at her alma mater. She graduated as one of the best students in her university, and no one has been able to beat her record in 10 years. So, the university invited her and all her colleagues to witness the occasion and have an excellent time together during the reunion party. As fate would have it, she jammed her ex-boyfriend, Wilson, whom she had dated for four years in her university days. They loved each other so much during their university days and would have been married if not that her parent sent her to the United States to do her postgraduate degree and thereby lost contact with the guy. They were happily married to their spouses, and each had a perfect home anyone would pray for.

As Doris was about to leave the party, while she tried to book an Uber ride that would take her to the shop in town on her phone, she crossed paths with Wilson again at the car park. They got talking, and Wilson offered to take her home so that he could use the opportunity to thank her husband for taking good care of his long-lost friend and heartthrob. She stepped into Wilson’s car, and they got engrossed in talks for old times' sake. He reminded her of the heartbreak and that he almost lost his life during the time he was passing through the emotional trauma of her absence in his life. She apologized and blamed her parent for the breakup because they wanted her to complete her postgraduate studies before considering anything called marriage.

While they talked, Doris was carried away by the guilt of heartbreak she caused Wilson despite the love they shared. She allowed the emotions to becloud her judgment and forgot that she was now a new creature and born-again Christian. She has forgotten the book of

2Corinthians 5:17 – "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

She was trying to apologize for the mistake and her inactions; their hands crossed paths and touched each other. In that process, Wilson looked at her in the eyeball, and she responded likewise and unconsciously to both of them; they had an emotional reset that made them kiss one another and have sex at the back of Wilson's Landcruiser Jeep. It was after the sexual incident that she came back to her consciousness and immediately came to terms with the reality of her action and the infidelity that had just struck her marriage. She cried bitterly and had a godly sorrow for the sin she committed. She immediately parted ways with Wilson and eventually came back home with an Uber ride she initially planned to use.

On getting home, she went straight to see her pastor to confess her immorality and seek spiritual counsel on how to make restitution appropriately. The pastor admonished her to make her confession first to God and then approach her husband to do the same. This will help her have a conscience void of offense before God and man - Acts 24:16. This reawakened her mind to the reality of the teachings of restitution as it is being taught in her church.

On the second day she got back to the house from her pastor, she knelt down, narrated the ordeal to her husband, and sought his forgiveness. She claimed that it happened to her unknowingly because she lost her guard around Wilson. The husband was furious and abandoned the home for days. He claimed he has been faithful to her all these while despite all the temptations he faces in his place of work and among his friends. He stood to their marriage vow and never cheated on her. However, after some weeks, his mind came down because he was prevailed upon to forgive his wife.

On the second night of his return to the house, the wife observed that he was not eating her food and refused to sleep in the same room with her. His wife asked why he was doing that even though he had forgiven her. Then he told his wife that he would neither eat her food nor sleep together with her on the same bed until she returned to his home village for spiritual cleansing from the mighty goddess of Ansantoma. She looked at her husband in great astonishment that despite his religious beliefs and Christian faith, he still believed in the goddess of spiritual cleansing. She said to her husband,

“Come on! have you forgotten the scripture that says, For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4 (KJV)".

The husband responded that his faith could not carry this, and the situation shall remain the same until she agrees to do the needful. She reminded her husband that she cooked for him the same night the incident happened, he ate, and they even had sex, and he didn't die. He responded that he was unaware of the incident and that the culture doesn't punish ignorance.

She was in a severe dilemma and didn't know what to do. She consulted the church and the pastorate to talk to her husband, and the man refused to budge. He cited a case of a couple who refused to do the same in the name of their Christian faith, and the husband lost his life in the process. The woman has now remarried and enjoying her life. He insisted that she either goes for the spiritual cleansing from the river goddess of Ansantoma or the marriage remains like that.

Doris has been in this dilemma for weeks and doesn't know what to do. She firmly believes the Bible verse that says:

"No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 1 John 3:9 (NIV)”.

So, she decided that she would not add salt to injury by continuing sinning for her to cover her first sin and that the blood of Jesus has cleansed her from her unrighteousness 1 John 1:7-9. The husband has refused to change his stand, and she is now in a severe dilemma and doesn't know what to do to resolve the quagmire she has put herself into. She loves her family and doesn't want it to scatter.

As a Christian who believes in the truth found in the Bible, which is the undiluted word of God, what do you think Doris should do to save her home?

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  • tunbosun isola

    Sep 13, 2022 -- 02:36PM
    She should hope in God and earnestly pray for divine intervention
  • Ayo David

    Sep 14, 2022 -- 05:34AM
    She should not stop praying because the Bible says in Matthew 19vs26 nothing is impossible for God... So she keep her faith and while in constant prayer for her husband...... God will heal her home in Jesus name ameeeeeenn...